Hire people to do things

Don’t hire them to take ownership of problems you don’t want to solve.

Hire them to solve problems.

Hire them to perform tasks they can succeed or fail at.

Do not hire them because you are overwhelmed by a problem.  Hire them because you want help or insight to enable YOU to solve YOUR problem.  Or even to hire THEM to solve YOUR problem. But you must know what the “solved state” looks like, or hire someone to help YOU define the solved state.

At some point it must continue to feel like yours.  Continue reading “Hire people to do things”

I think you should do things you can fail at

Not unimportant things. Important things that might not work out.

A young man asked me tonight if he should ask a girl out.  They are friends and he was afraid it might hurt their friendship.

I told him I don’t know that anyone can answer that for him, but I think that in life you should do things that you might fail at. I think you should ask her out, even though it might end the friendship.

Descriptive Reinforcement

We can be each other’s positive voices.  The messages we give ourselves can define us.  They are so often set by those around us or by those who have touched us deeply many years ago.

We can enable another person to overcome their negative voices simply by acknowledging (describing) the good thing she has done.  “You empathized with her when your first reaction was to judge.  That had a big impact on both of you.”

These acknowledgements can be transformative.

Continue reading “Descriptive Reinforcement”